Than'Queue'

We have witnessed lines for so long, and have even been explained the importance of lines - although they are 'unreal', still they form such a major part of our reality. Idioms like "get someone on the line", "cross the line", "a fine line", "along the lines of" or "read between the lines" have been long employed to adorn our language. Half of our elementary school geometry is based on lines - angles, triangles, polygons and so much more... We have often heard about the funda of "joining the dots"... Looking back at life, and seeing a line, and it makes us ponder...

Well, I am not interested in all that. The point is that 'line' is like a superhero; it's like Iron Man of shapes (some might say Batman, but really, I don't wanna go into these 'political' controversies). We like things when they are making sense - when they are 'straight' (That explains why people are so harsh on gay people, although I think they have a full right to be happy until they are not doing anything to harm others). We don't like a 'curled up' life, we are always wanting to 'straighten' things out, you know, 'getting things in line' or 'drawing a fine line' between good and bad. And that is just so intriguing. This non-real two-dimensional shape has earned something that people like me take almost a lifetime to achieve - 'importance'.

But lines are really not what they look like in mathematical fairy tales. Or the philosophical ones. When you actually witness a line, you'd hate it - deep down, you'd want out of it. And that's what happens when you stand in a 'line' - yes, the British say 'queue'. They do have fancy words for everything, right? Ah, the charms of a royal language! Anyhow, potato, potahto... Not the time to quibble over terminology.

We are not a patient species - only some of us are patient enough to wait for our friend for over half an hour and then not even point out that he/she is late. Yeah, your friend knows that he/she is late. It's not about stating the obvious, it's about making them feel guilty. And so, obviously, when you are waiting in a long queue with say, twenty people in front of you, and above that, the clerk sitting at the counter seems to be stuck in a space-time continuum, you really have nothing to do but wait. And those are the times you feel like ripping yourself apart...

That happened with me today. I had to pay my college fees, and it being an institute of 'Technology', believes firmly in saving technology for better uses rather than allowing online transactions. So, some 220 people from my branch were supposed to pay their fees today. And that's not the end of the tragedy. The counter opens at 10:30 a.m. and is open only till 3:30 p.m. Also, 1:30 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. is the lunch time for officials. So, they expect 220 students to deposit their fees within just four hours. And did I mention that it was a working day? So, we were supposed to attend classes too! Thankfully for us, that didn't happen because, well, we bunked our classes. The only other way of doing both the activities would have been teleportation or use of clones, but let's leave something to the experts, right?

I started, with great effort and determination from the end of the queue, and believe me when I say this, just the sight of how long the queue was would've given you chills. In a second of all possible thoughts, you would have known that you were going to groan in pain at the end of the day and curse the administration for saving the technology for alien invasions. For a better idea, I've posted a rough figure of what the queue was like:

And did I mention that it was raining heavily? All the roads were flooded, and there was no chance in hell that one could cross a road without getting their feet wet. Earlier that day, I was debating with my friend about how shoes were better on rainy days rather than sandals. And within an hour of standing in the queue with my wet feet and socks, I was already realising how wrong I was.

The clerks at the counter were having free entertainment, as people roared when someone tried to break the line to get their way in, or clapped when a particular individual's form fell into water. Almost everyone was paying in cash, and so, counting of money took even more time. Not only that, the person counting the money was so slow, even a snail could've beat him. He counted a wad of cash three times and then verified it with the counting machine. And occasionally, he'd play a game by sifting back and forth the bundle, as if he enjoyed the sound of the notes in the process.

Amidst all this, I was fortunate to have three of my friends just ahead of me, and that stopped me from being bored to death. It was a festival of humdrum chit-chat. All topics like novels, TV Series, Dreams, Deja Vu, restaurants, etc. were actively covered with the occasional saccharine mixture of beautifully woven swears. That was only temporary. No sooner were we back where we began - clueless, restless and jobless.

Finally, with just fifteen people ahead of me after approximately two and a half hours, I knew I had covered an arduous journey. And it was approaching its end. But, there was still one problem - it was already half past one, and so the counter was closed for an hour. Thankfully, the guard monitoring the straightness of the queue had a solution - he wrote serial numbers on our forms, helping us to make a queue when we'd return after an hour. I was completely exhausted, and the water in my shoes was bugging me more than anything.

Anyhow, the counter opened after an hour and we got in line again, after much arguments with the newcomers who had formed a line while we were away. We were able to regain our former positions, thanks to the guard. My faith in humanity was restored. And finally, after about 45 more minutes, I was able to pay my fees and get my receipt.

And I greeted them with a 'Thank You', for making me stand in line for four hours, for wasting my entire day, for making me tired as hell and for giving me a reason to write a blog post.

Lines may seem to be simple, but they are much more complicated. Only when you are a victim of one do you understand their potential.