Happy Friendship Day to y'all! Yes, as usual, I have done my research. Friendship Day originally falls on 30 July according to the United Nations (and you thought they had important things to do! Yeah, yeah, conflicts of countries can wait.), but many countries including India celebrate it on the first Sunday of August every year. And if you haven't known until now, I am an Indian. So, I'm here, again, to write about this incredible relationship, which is no less than a carnival of laughs and cries and moments and memories - we'd cherish them for years to come and smile at them. And then, we'd get lost in the magical world of these wonder days...
It all starts with the beginning - how we become friends. And the instances are hilarious - the first impressions are often wrong, and it smells 'awkwardness' all around. One of my best friends initially hated me (and I got to know that just a month ago!), I never wanted to be friends with one particular individual who is now one of my closest friends. I'm telling you, it's awkward at the first go, meaningless even, and it becomes all the more weird when you start talking.
We start bonding with people over daily meetings - sitting on the same desk everyday, brushing past each other in the canteen, being in the same clubs or associations, and so on. But most of our friendships don't even begin at everyday encounters. They begin when one of us needs help from the other - asking for help to fill out a form, asking doubts, sometimes even asking an address; it's the first meeting that is legendary in its own, and rarely is it 'love at first sight'. It is gradual, circumstantial, and mutual; and as the time flies by, it turns into a ritual.
"Hi, what's your name?" "Vivek, (awkward pause, thinking for a thousand times what to speak next) what's your name?" "Batman (Coz XYZ is just too mainstream.)"
And that is the normal beginning of a friendly conversation. The next line becomes an ordeal - a thousand possible questions could be asked - address, city, hometown, hobbies - and only some go on to a long conversation. Rest of them end short and bam, you are just casual friends!
But once you are friends, you have stepped into another universe. Personal activities become mutual (the degree, however, depends on the level of your friendship). We start seeing each other more often than before - we want to be with them because they amuse us; we want to spend more time because we feel uplifted in their presence, and believe me when I say - the love of a lover is the love of a different kind, but the love of a friend is far more intense and at the same time, it comes with almost no strings attached. And over time, we grow, we develop, we mature according to them and that is how we reach the core of our friendships.
But these charms of friendship are very different in men and women. When women become best friends, you can see it, hell, they'll broadcast it like they are long lost sisters who have met again after all these years. There is visibility. They'll have Facebook photos captioned, "Had a great time with my besties! Love you darlings! Muaah! <3 <3". They'll have status updates saying, "Miss you sweetheart!", or "You're my BFF", and yes, everyone in the world knows they're friends. It's not wrong, and I don't intend to mock (okay, I confess - a bit). That is how it works. And in case their friendship is over, you'll get another round of even more graceful status updates like "Things don't work out the way you want" or "People hurt", while obviously they transform into creatures of prey in their diary entries with words like "Screw", "Bitch" and "Curses" being the top-ranked.
Men on the other hand, will be no less discrete in their friendships than a hush-hush CIA mission. And they don't post status updates like above. Theirs would be, "Had fun today" (Yes, sometimes, even without an exclamation mark), or "Awesome day". It's not that they don't have such feelings, it's that they don't see the point of putting it out in front of everyone. Sometimes, even they don't know that they are best friends with someone! And they are anything but "BFFs" and "besties" - they are "pals","buddies", "brothers" and "bros". And when they end their friendship with someone, they are hurt more than they're hurt when the love of their life stomps on them - deep down, they are feeling the weight of feelings crushing them. But they don't show it. They don't broadcast it, and they don't even use foul words because they simply cannot - they lost a "bro", a brother, and they would feel guilty for it in an amount that is indescribable.
Bros have been popularized now, thanks to Barney Stinson's "Bro Code". When female friends talk, they talk about their love lives, they talk about every little point, every little topic - they share happiness when one of them achieves something, and they sit down and console when one of them is sad. But when male friends talk, they first mock each other, and then maybe talk about some feelings. When one of them achieves something, he is more worried about throwing a party and calculating its cost. And when he is sad, consolations are present even here, but they are soon followed by the bashing and mocking part again.
Friends teach you a lot of things - their life starts having impact on yours, and they leave an impression on you. And eventually that becomes a part of your personality. Some friends teach you how to live happily, some friends add fun, some teach you to work hard, some others teach you to live a carefree life - they all impart you something, and you give them a part of your personality in return. You imitate some of their expressions, you start uttering some words the way they do, and it all makes the bond even stronger... Some day or the other, you part ways with them. And then you cry a river inside, all those moments come rushing back to you... But, even then, you have changed because of them. There is some part of them inside you, and which will be there forever. And that's how strangers go on from becoming 'someone' to becoming 'a part of our lives'.
Let's raise a toast to all our friends, the best ones or the casual ones, coz har ek friend zaroori hota hai (because every friend is important). This roller-coaster ride has its charms - the late night talks, the mocking others, the laughing out loud in classes; and it also has its firearms - becoming the target of mockery, doing something embarrassing which will be a topic of discussion for eternity, or parting ways with them... Eventually, we move on. But they remain with us, in our hearts - in our memories, in our personalities...
What's your friendship story? Any hilarious moments? Why not comment here?
C'ya!
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