Continued from The Rail Tale: Part 1...
You have finally settled down in whatever little place you could find. You felt happy for a moment. Now that moment's long gone. Terror is what follows.
You look around. The characters around you are distinct. They are trying to get involved into something, so that they can pass the 24 hours of journey that follows. In a quick glance, you can see an uncle, an auntie, and their two kids, age 10 or something. Gender does not matter. They are devils.
You quickly try to look in the other direction but fail miserably when the uncle catches you looking. You have to pay the price. Sigh.
"Where will you get off?"
"Surat," you say, trying to remove eye contact.
The uncle looks satisfied with the answer, you think. But, believe me, deep down, he is angered because you are going to be there for a long time, depriving them of space.
You exchange an angered look with the children for stealing your window seat.
"So, what do you do in Surat?" asks the madamoiselle, aka the auntie ji.
"I study in Surat."
"What do you study?"
"Engineering."
Just as you finish saying this, they'll have an eye talk. Engineering. As if that's a real field.
"Which college do you study in?"
"NIT, Surat."
"Kyu? Kisi local college mein nahi mila? (Why? Didn't you get admission in a local college?)"
That's it. That's a trick question. It is a trap meant to make you feel uncomfortable. May whatever your answer be to the question, you'll end up being an idiot.
Scenario 1: You keep quiet. The auntie ends up feasting on your embarrassment. She has got her substitution of the day's saas-bahu serial she's gonna miss.
Scenario 2: You answer with a "No." You end up looking like a doofus.
Scenario 3: You answer with a "Yes". You again end up looking like a doofus.
Scenario 4: You answer neither. And then start explaining. Three yawns and four "Whatever" facial expressions later, you realise she doesn't care. You end up shutting up in utter embarrassment, and she gets the equivalent drama of 2 saas-bahu serials.
Silence follows this exercise. You deliberately take out your mobile phone and start reading promotional messages from your mobile operator, just to avoid her. After ten minutes of passing time, you are back to Square One. You, uncle, auntie, awkward silence, and staring at each other.
Finally, even if you don't even give the least damn, you ask, "Where will you get off?"
"Mumbai," says the uncle.
You nod. Silence. Two minutes of looking at each other. Then you start looking out of the opposite window. The uncle sitting there starts thinking you have some kind of keen 'interest' in him, and gets flattered. Gallows would seem to be a nicer option now.
A minute passes by, and the children start with their usual tantrums. The big family bag spreading over three seats is opened, and it seems to be no less than a departmental store. All eatables are taken out, and distributed over.
You are offered a biscuit. You decline the offer very politely.
"Arrey, take it beta..."
You decline again.
"Le lo... Mummy ne mana kiya hai? (Take it. Has your mom instructed you not to?)"
*Facepalm*
Crunch crunch. You eat that biscuit like a doll. With a blushed face. About to get married. The auntie crunches about half a factory full of 'em when you come back to senses. You turn your face away and look out of the window. Again.
You feel something's fishy. Your suspicion becomes real when the auntie, suddenly tuning from her cacophony to a melody asks you if you could 'switch' seats with her friend in another compartment during the night. You feel like a juice carton. Again.
Now that you've talked to them, eaten their biscuit, they've owned you. Saying 'No' is like challenging them for war. And looking at what your situation is, you'd be terribly defeated. They have two young kids with just enough potential to ruin your sleep, who have been specially trained for such occasions.
You shiver at the thought.
You agree. They give a wicked smile, and give a mental hi-five to each other. You feel like you just got your foot in shit. Or in your mouth. Who knows?
The 'happy family' distributes the snacks around as if they know everyone in the compartment. The person sitting at the side lower seat, who has no connection whatsoever in this whole process is dragged in. The more the merrier, they say.
Eventually, that guy at the side starts talking too. And he is such a show-off. He is talking about things that he doesn't even know about. He talks about education, books, music and what-not, and the uncle-auntie pair listens to him as if he knows everything. Somewhere, in the middle, he says something so incredibly stupid, that you almost laugh out. Yeah, right.
The uncle and auntie look at you, and think you are dumb. You are again waved off as a doofus. He goes on nevertheless, continuing his epic mission of spreading the joy of 'knowledge'.
Amidst all this, there is one lady who is a 'saint', a true believer in God. She believes that she is a messenger of God, and it is her 'duty' to impart religious values to the fellow passengers, just in case they belong to an 'uneducated' family background. She talks about karma, she talks about saadhna, and half an hour of sermons, meditations and family prayers later, you wake up with a jerk. Turns out she's still talking. She talks about all the crap that make you start doubting you're in hell. You pinch yourself just in case you are having a nightmare. Unfortunately you are not.
This lady would've shut up, had it not been for the army guy in the upper berth who contradicted her on one point that 'he didn't understand', and pouring in his unwanted philosophy of Seventh House of desire and rebirth. The saint lady takes it personally, and turns into a tigress in a matter of second. Religion gets trashed somewhere in the middle, and in no time, they start about sanskaar (values).
If it were anything like Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, you'd give a shit. You look around for ways of exit, and end up on your way to take a piss even when you don't want to.
You think you've escaped hell. 'How worse could it get?' you think. But as the train moves further ahead, you remain completely unaware of what more is to follow...
To be continued...
Part 3 here
You have finally settled down in whatever little place you could find. You felt happy for a moment. Now that moment's long gone. Terror is what follows.
You look around. The characters around you are distinct. They are trying to get involved into something, so that they can pass the 24 hours of journey that follows. In a quick glance, you can see an uncle, an auntie, and their two kids, age 10 or something. Gender does not matter. They are devils.
You quickly try to look in the other direction but fail miserably when the uncle catches you looking. You have to pay the price. Sigh.
"Where will you get off?"
"Surat," you say, trying to remove eye contact.
The uncle looks satisfied with the answer, you think. But, believe me, deep down, he is angered because you are going to be there for a long time, depriving them of space.
You exchange an angered look with the children for stealing your window seat.
"So, what do you do in Surat?" asks the madamoiselle, aka the auntie ji.
"I study in Surat."
"What do you study?"
"Engineering."
Just as you finish saying this, they'll have an eye talk. Engineering. As if that's a real field.
"Which college do you study in?"
"NIT, Surat."
"Kyu? Kisi local college mein nahi mila? (Why? Didn't you get admission in a local college?)"
That's it. That's a trick question. It is a trap meant to make you feel uncomfortable. May whatever your answer be to the question, you'll end up being an idiot.
Scenario 1: You keep quiet. The auntie ends up feasting on your embarrassment. She has got her substitution of the day's saas-bahu serial she's gonna miss.
Scenario 2: You answer with a "No." You end up looking like a doofus.
Scenario 3: You answer with a "Yes". You again end up looking like a doofus.
Scenario 4: You answer neither. And then start explaining. Three yawns and four "Whatever" facial expressions later, you realise she doesn't care. You end up shutting up in utter embarrassment, and she gets the equivalent drama of 2 saas-bahu serials.
Silence follows this exercise. You deliberately take out your mobile phone and start reading promotional messages from your mobile operator, just to avoid her. After ten minutes of passing time, you are back to Square One. You, uncle, auntie, awkward silence, and staring at each other.
Finally, even if you don't even give the least damn, you ask, "Where will you get off?"
"Mumbai," says the uncle.
You nod. Silence. Two minutes of looking at each other. Then you start looking out of the opposite window. The uncle sitting there starts thinking you have some kind of keen 'interest' in him, and gets flattered. Gallows would seem to be a nicer option now.
A minute passes by, and the children start with their usual tantrums. The big family bag spreading over three seats is opened, and it seems to be no less than a departmental store. All eatables are taken out, and distributed over.
You are offered a biscuit. You decline the offer very politely.
"Arrey, take it beta..."
You decline again.
"Le lo... Mummy ne mana kiya hai? (Take it. Has your mom instructed you not to?)"
*Facepalm*
Crunch crunch. You eat that biscuit like a doll. With a blushed face. About to get married. The auntie crunches about half a factory full of 'em when you come back to senses. You turn your face away and look out of the window. Again.
You feel something's fishy. Your suspicion becomes real when the auntie, suddenly tuning from her cacophony to a melody asks you if you could 'switch' seats with her friend in another compartment during the night. You feel like a juice carton. Again.
Now that you've talked to them, eaten their biscuit, they've owned you. Saying 'No' is like challenging them for war. And looking at what your situation is, you'd be terribly defeated. They have two young kids with just enough potential to ruin your sleep, who have been specially trained for such occasions.
You shiver at the thought.
You agree. They give a wicked smile, and give a mental hi-five to each other. You feel like you just got your foot in shit. Or in your mouth. Who knows?
The 'happy family' distributes the snacks around as if they know everyone in the compartment. The person sitting at the side lower seat, who has no connection whatsoever in this whole process is dragged in. The more the merrier, they say.
Eventually, that guy at the side starts talking too. And he is such a show-off. He is talking about things that he doesn't even know about. He talks about education, books, music and what-not, and the uncle-auntie pair listens to him as if he knows everything. Somewhere, in the middle, he says something so incredibly stupid, that you almost laugh out. Yeah, right.
The uncle and auntie look at you, and think you are dumb. You are again waved off as a doofus. He goes on nevertheless, continuing his epic mission of spreading the joy of 'knowledge'.
Amidst all this, there is one lady who is a 'saint', a true believer in God. She believes that she is a messenger of God, and it is her 'duty' to impart religious values to the fellow passengers, just in case they belong to an 'uneducated' family background. She talks about karma, she talks about saadhna, and half an hour of sermons, meditations and family prayers later, you wake up with a jerk. Turns out she's still talking. She talks about all the crap that make you start doubting you're in hell. You pinch yourself just in case you are having a nightmare. Unfortunately you are not.
This lady would've shut up, had it not been for the army guy in the upper berth who contradicted her on one point that 'he didn't understand', and pouring in his unwanted philosophy of Seventh House of desire and rebirth. The saint lady takes it personally, and turns into a tigress in a matter of second. Religion gets trashed somewhere in the middle, and in no time, they start about sanskaar (values).
If it were anything like Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, you'd give a shit. You look around for ways of exit, and end up on your way to take a piss even when you don't want to.
You think you've escaped hell. 'How worse could it get?' you think. But as the train moves further ahead, you remain completely unaware of what more is to follow...
To be continued...
Part 3 here
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